Lately I’ve had the return of an “old friend” sensation.
When I drive, I feel like pins are sticking into my foot. It’s a tingling,
vibrating sensation, sometimes throbbing, and definitely uncomfortable. The
trigger is no surprise—I have a new car, and when I bought a new car years
before I had the same symptoms. When I drive a rental car, I don’t experience
this sensation. I suppose that’s no surprise, because at the root of the
problem is my fear that I didn’t make the right choice: Did I buy the right
car? Did I make a mistake? Should I have waited for a better deal? And so on.
To cope, I’ve continuously reminded myself of Dr. Low’s
wisdom: Feelings and sensations cannot be controlled, but thoughts and impulses
can be. Telling myself that these are simply anxious reactions does help, but I
admit sometimes I feel defeated by the symptoms. It can be exhausting to deal
with distressing, but certainly not dangerous, symptoms all day.
Over time, through continuous spotting and endorsement, I
know these symptoms will abate. They did before, and they will again. There’s
nothing physically wrong. Before Recovery, I would have complained about this
symptom to anyone who would listen, ask friends to drive the car to check for anything
wrong, take the car to the dealer to ask them to find a problem, and so on.
Now, with Recovery, I’m better equipped to handle these symptoms, and I am
confident things will improve soon.
