Our culture encourages us to “get the last word,” to air our feelings, and to express our minds. Dr. Low warns us not to buy into these notions, as doing so will lead to temper and symptoms.
For example, I recently received an e-mail from a co-worker making a statement with which I do not agree. My initial flare of temper compelled me to reply with my own opinion. After all, I believed my viewpoint was correct. I felt my skin tensing and my breathing quickening as I formulated a brilliant response.
However, I spotted that I was becoming worked up over a triviality—and there is no
right or wrong in the trivialities of everyday life. I decided to abandon the need for a symbolic victory and control my muscles by not sending a response. During this long holiday weekend I still find myself thinking about that e-mail, but I choose to focus on secure thoughts.
Before Recovery I would have replied to the e-mail. While I might have thought that my argument was sound, the ensuing back and forth would have led to a temperamental deadlock, which would have harmed “group life” (i.e., work). And I would have developed fearful temper as I awaited my co-worker’s response.
With my Recovery training I have avoided a panoply of symptoms. And for that I heartily endorse!
Showing posts with label recovery Inc.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label recovery Inc.. Show all posts
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Leadership
Blurry vision is my most distressing symptom. I have a hunch that most nervous people have one particular sensation that disturbs them more than others. While my vision becomes blurred, through Recovery training I’ve learned that my ability to function does not decrease.
For many years I thought my symptom was unique and that no one else suffered this way, but in Recovery I learned to reject this idea of exceptionality (and in several places in Mental Health Through Will-Training Dr. Low does cite nervous people who have blurry vision as a symptom, such as Harriette).(1)
Through Recovery I have learned to manage these symptoms by employing secure thinking and adopting the will to bear discomfort. This week in my Recovery group I learned another strategy: leadership. Just as how a political leader must have a clear message to his group and must not arouse their fearful or angry temper if he/she wants to succeed, a nervous person cannot send fearful messages to his/her muscles and then expect them to not react accordingly. As Dr. Low says:
“And if muscles get two contradictory orders at the same time, all they can do is to create tenseness or to begin to tremble or to stiffen up or all three together. And then there is no action. And you will understand that the patient can in this manner confuse the muscles, irritate them, throwing them into tenseness and spasms and in tremors. This means making them react like you react in temper: tenseness, stiffness. And that’s what the muscles do, and then there is no leadership. The person doesn’t exercise guidance, doesn’t give guidance. And if this happens, the person notices that the muscles don’t do as he wants them to do, so he now becomes more irritated, more suspicious that there may be something wrong with him, and therefore more temperamental. And a vicious cycle develops.” (2)
This concept of leadership relates to the Recovery principle of controlling one’s muscles, but it goes a step further in my opinion: It implies that we are responsible for controlling our symptoms. Not that we are causing them willingly, but that we can—and must—exercise the will to make our lives better. That’s what we would expect from a leader, and the leader of our bodies is ourselves.
References
1. Low AA. Mental Health Through Will-Training. Glencoe, Ill.: Willett Publishing Co.; 1997;65.
2. Low AA. Lecture 20. Leadership and muscles. In: Manage Your Fears, Manage Your Anger: A Psychiatrist Speaks. Glencoe, Il.: Willett Publishing Co.; 1995; 117.
For many years I thought my symptom was unique and that no one else suffered this way, but in Recovery I learned to reject this idea of exceptionality (and in several places in Mental Health Through Will-Training Dr. Low does cite nervous people who have blurry vision as a symptom, such as Harriette).(1)
Through Recovery I have learned to manage these symptoms by employing secure thinking and adopting the will to bear discomfort. This week in my Recovery group I learned another strategy: leadership. Just as how a political leader must have a clear message to his group and must not arouse their fearful or angry temper if he/she wants to succeed, a nervous person cannot send fearful messages to his/her muscles and then expect them to not react accordingly. As Dr. Low says:
“And if muscles get two contradictory orders at the same time, all they can do is to create tenseness or to begin to tremble or to stiffen up or all three together. And then there is no action. And you will understand that the patient can in this manner confuse the muscles, irritate them, throwing them into tenseness and spasms and in tremors. This means making them react like you react in temper: tenseness, stiffness. And that’s what the muscles do, and then there is no leadership. The person doesn’t exercise guidance, doesn’t give guidance. And if this happens, the person notices that the muscles don’t do as he wants them to do, so he now becomes more irritated, more suspicious that there may be something wrong with him, and therefore more temperamental. And a vicious cycle develops.” (2)
This concept of leadership relates to the Recovery principle of controlling one’s muscles, but it goes a step further in my opinion: It implies that we are responsible for controlling our symptoms. Not that we are causing them willingly, but that we can—and must—exercise the will to make our lives better. That’s what we would expect from a leader, and the leader of our bodies is ourselves.
References
1. Low AA. Mental Health Through Will-Training. Glencoe, Ill.: Willett Publishing Co.; 1997;65.
2. Low AA. Lecture 20. Leadership and muscles. In: Manage Your Fears, Manage Your Anger: A Psychiatrist Speaks. Glencoe, Il.: Willett Publishing Co.; 1995; 117.
Friday, May 8, 2009
A bit too creative
We anxious people are creative—maybe too creative. Our minds dream up all sorts of doomsday scenarios that terrorize us for hours on end. But ultimately how many of these horrible situations have actually occurred in your life? Of all my obsessions, ruminations, constant thoughts, and worries, I’m not sure that any of consequence have ever come to fruition.
I particularly like what Abraham A. Low, MD, had to say on this:
"Unable to resist its suggestions, the patient becomes the victim of his imagination. An incessant stream of insecurity suggestions is poured forth with rapid-fire velocity, leading to a continuous succession of wrong opinions, conclusions and decisions."(1)
Sound familiar?
So the past few days when I have felt anxious over one of my “predictions” I have told myself that my overactive imagination is at work. I’ve found it comforting to label my worries this way. It isn’t a cure-all, but it does bring a little relief—and any amount of inner peace is welcome.
Reference
1. Low AA. Mental Health Through Will-Training. Glencoe, Ill.: Willett Publishing Co.; 1997;38.
I particularly like what Abraham A. Low, MD, had to say on this:
"Unable to resist its suggestions, the patient becomes the victim of his imagination. An incessant stream of insecurity suggestions is poured forth with rapid-fire velocity, leading to a continuous succession of wrong opinions, conclusions and decisions."(1)
Sound familiar?
So the past few days when I have felt anxious over one of my “predictions” I have told myself that my overactive imagination is at work. I’ve found it comforting to label my worries this way. It isn’t a cure-all, but it does bring a little relief—and any amount of inner peace is welcome.
Reference
1. Low AA. Mental Health Through Will-Training. Glencoe, Ill.: Willett Publishing Co.; 1997;38.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Recovery meeting—first impressions
Yesterday I went to my first mental health support group—a Recovery, Inc., meeting. I knew nothing about this organization, although I know a lot about the mental health consumer recovery movement in general.
Recovery, Inc., is based on the work of Abraham A. Low, MD. We listened to the audiotape of one of his lectures, which was kinda difficult to follow because he uses a lot of "fancy" language. But every so often a nugget of knowledge would jump out at me and I'd see how what he was saying applied to my life. Yesterday's meeting focused on "temper" and why it's more important to stay cool and calm than argue with someone over something trivial. Anger certainly exacerbates anxiety, so I found the meeting useful—especially the group discussion after the lecture.
I bought one of Dr. Low's books and intend to read it. The group members were very friendly, so I intend to go back next week. Maybe this is the beginning of something wonderful for me.
Recovery, Inc., is based on the work of Abraham A. Low, MD. We listened to the audiotape of one of his lectures, which was kinda difficult to follow because he uses a lot of "fancy" language. But every so often a nugget of knowledge would jump out at me and I'd see how what he was saying applied to my life. Yesterday's meeting focused on "temper" and why it's more important to stay cool and calm than argue with someone over something trivial. Anger certainly exacerbates anxiety, so I found the meeting useful—especially the group discussion after the lecture.
I bought one of Dr. Low's books and intend to read it. The group members were very friendly, so I intend to go back next week. Maybe this is the beginning of something wonderful for me.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Support groups
I've decided to try an in-person support group. Finding one has not been easy, and I live in a large city. I haven't found one specifically for generalized anxiety disorder, so I am going to try a Recovery, Inc., group, which helps people with all sorts of mental problems. They have a lot of active groups in my area, such as this one. If you've had any experience with this organization, I'd love to hear about it. I did look into Emotions Anonymous, but it is too spiritually based for me. Finally, I did apply for Compeer, a mentoring program, but my local chapter is very slow at responding to inquiries (and completely ignored one of my relatives). So finding "offline" support has not been easy, but I hope it's worth it.
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